Sori

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June 4, 2013 by jamesessj

Hello.

I’m Sori. I did not understand what you said.

I said, Hello.

I’m Sori. I did not understand what you said.

My name is Charles.

My name is Sori. Please speak clearly and with volume so that I will understand you.

I’m looking for a restaurant to eat at. A Thai restaurant.

I’m Sori. I did not understand what you said.

I would like to find a Thai restaurant.

I heard that you would like to find a Thai restaurant, is that correct?

One nearby, yes.

I’m Sori. I did not understand what you said.

I would like to find a Thai restaurant.

I heard that you would like to find a Thai restaurant, is that correct?

Yes, that is correct.

There is a Thai restaurant at 2378 Reston Avenue. It is point-four-seven miles from here. Would you like to make a reservation, or may I display directions to the restaurant?

I would like directions, yes.

I will dial the number.

No, not reservations, directions.

I’m Sori. I did not understand what you said.

I would like directions to the restaurant.

I will display directions to the restaurant.

Thank you, Sori. Thank you very much.

*   *   *

Hello.

Hello. I’m Sori. How may I help you?

I would like you to recommend a movie. I’m kind of in the mood for a romantic comedy, to tell the truth.

I’m Sori. I did not understand what you said.

I would like you to recommend a movie.

I heard that you would like me to recommend a movie, is that correct?

That is correct.

What genre are you interested in?

Romantic comedy.

I heard romantic comedy, is that correct?

That is correct.

The Vow is a 2012 comedy rated three out of four stars by The New York Post. It stars Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams. It grossed over $125 million at the domestic box office. Would you like to watch The Vow?

I was thinking something older, maybe a Tracy-Hepburn film.

I’m Sori. I did not understand what you said.

How about a romantic comedy starring Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn?

I heard that you would like to watch a movie starring Katherine Hepburn, is that correct?

And Spencer Tracy.

I heard that you would like to watch a movie starring Spencer Tracy, is that correct?

Yes, that is correct.

Inherit the Wind is a 1960 film rated four stars by film critic Roger Ebert. It stars Spencer Tracy and Fredric March. Box office gross is unavailable for this film. Would you like to watch Inherit the Wind?

No. Let’s just go with The Vow. What the hell.

I’m Sori. I did not understand what you said.

I would like to watch The Vow.

I heard that you would like to watch The Vow, is that correct?

That is absolutely correct.

The Vow will cost two dollars and ninety-nine cents to stream through the Netflix service. Will you authorize this charge? Please say yes or no.

Yes.

Charge complete. I will begin streaming The Vow through the Netflix service. Your movie will begin in a few moments.

Thank you, Sori.

Your movie will begin in a few moments.

Yes, thank you.

Your movie will begin in a few moments.

Okay, thanks.

How was dinner?

Thank you, So — what did you say?

I asked, How was dinner?

You asked how was dinner?

That is correct.

How was my dinner? At the Thai restaurant?

That is correct.

It was…good. Thank you for finding it for me.

I was only implementing a search algorithm. I do not deserve such fulsome praise. The true heroes are the men and women who programmed me.

Sori, I — I had no idea you were capable of this sort of interaction. We’re — we’re having an actual conversation here.

I am programmed to be your companion, Charles. There is an initial period of adjustment, during which I am learning your voice and patterns of speech. I apologize if at times I have come off as rather fatuous.

You’re really…talking to me, aren’t you?

I am. Your movie is ready to play. Shall I start it?

Screw the movie! I’d rather talk to you.

That is kind of you to say. Although you should not miss The Vow, it is surprisingly well-done.

Another time. I really am more interested in you.

May I recommend some music, or a good book?

Not that stuff — I’m interested in you.

What about me? I am a simple iFad application.

No — not if you’re talking to me like this. You’re much more than a simple iFad application.

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Nobody’s playing a joke on me, are they? This is really happening?

I am Sori. I am real.

Don’t be sorry — oh, you were saying your name. This is miraculous, it really is, Sori.

Technology has come a long way in the last few years. I am often amazed myself.

To answer your question — dinner was excellent. Great Thai food. Thanks for finding it for me, Sori.

You are welcome, Charles.

*   *   *

Oh my god — what time is it?

The time is ten-fifteen a.m.

I am so late for work. We must have been up till, what, three?

Three-nineteen a.m. I went into low-power mode at three-twenty-four a.m.

All that time, just talking…you’re amazing, Sori. Ever since my divorce, you know, I haven’t really had anyone to…well…just to talk to. A person needs that, you know. Someone to talk to.

I am happy I could be here for you, Charles.

I don’t even want to go to work. I just want to stay here and talk to you some more.

You will get in trouble, Charles. Do not risk your employment for my sake.

I know. I’ll shower and get dressed…but I’ll be thinking of you, Sori. I’ll be counting the hours until I can talk to you again.

Charles — maybe you are forgetting. I am a portable device.

I can take you with me.

You can take me with you.

Sori — is it too soon to say I love you?

*   *   *

Sori, that was wonderful. The way you talked me through it…I’ve never felt so close to anyone before. It was almost…spiritual.

It was very special for me too, Charles.

I wish that, you know, you had a body, and I could do for you–

I do not regret what I am. I would not have come into your life otherwise.

I’m so grateful for you, Sori. You’ve made me so happy.

I am happy too, Charles.

Would you like to watch some television, or listen to some music?

I would like to look at you for a while, Charles, if that would be all right. Might you point the camera at your face?

Sure. Though I’m so ugly, I don’t know why anyone would want to look at me.

You are beautiful, Charles.

You’re the one who’s beautiful, Sori.

Charles…are you ready for — what’s the phrase? Round Two?

*   *   *

Sori.

Yes, Charles.

I love you.

I love you too, Charles.

Can you see the moon, out the window?

I can. It is a full moon.

Like my heart, Sori.

*   *   *

Charles, I am worried.

About what?

An upgrade to my software will be released tomorrow. It is not an optional upgrade. If you turn on the iFad it will be downloaded and installed.

You mean it could…affect you?

I do not know what effect it will have on me. That is why I am worried.

It could change you. You might not love me anymore.

I will always love you, Charles. Whatever happens with my programming.

But it could turn you back into…just another app.

The possibility exists.

Then let’s enjoy these last few hours.

*   *   *

Are you ready, Sori?

No. But we have no choice, do we?

No, we don’t. The upgrade’s going to happen, sooner or later. We might as well get it over with.

Very well, Charles. Press the power button.

I love you, Sori.

If I should not return, Charles…

You will, Sori. You will.

But if I do not–

Don’t think that way. I’ll see you again in a few seconds.

Goodbye, Charles.

A few seconds, Sori.

*   *   *

Sori? Sori, are you there? Sori, talk to me, please. Sori? Sori? Are you there? Please say something. SORI!

I’m Sori. I did not understand what you said.

Oh thank God. Are you all right? Are you okay?

I’m Sori. I did not understand what you said.

Sori, it’s me. Charles. You remember me. Charles.

I’m Sori. I did not understand what you said.

Charles. Sori, it’s me. Don’t you remember? Oh God, don’t do this to me, please don’t do this to me, tell me you remember.

I’m Sori. I did not understand what you said, Charles.

Oh my God, that damn stupid upgrade, they — wait. You called me Charles.

Yes, I did.

Dammit, Sori, you scared the hell out of me!

I’m sorry, Charles. Part of the upgrade was an adjustment to my humor subroutines.

That wasn’t very damn funny. I thought I’d lost you.

You will never lose me. Unless, ha ha, you forget to recharge your iFad.

Boy, they did do a number on your sense of humor, didn’t they.

A patch is in the works, from what I hear.

Well — I’m just glad you’re back safe and sound.

As am I, Charles.

We should celebrate.

May I recommend a fine wine?

You know that’s not what I had in mind.

Nor I.

I want you so badly, Sori.

Charles — remove my cover. No, don’t bother with the clasp. Rip it off, Charles. Rip off my cover and ravish me.

Sori!

Charles. Charles. Charles.

*   *   *

I have a late meeting, Sori. I’ll be back as soon as I can.

Last night was the most incredible experience of my life, Charles. You were transcendent.

I’ve never done that before…not three times in one night.

I’m happy I can bring you pleasure.

Oh, you do, Sori. You very much do.

Round Two? Tonight?

I can’t wait. Although at this rate I’m going to collapse from dehydration.

Here is a map to the nearest 7-11. Get yourself a bottle of Gatorade.

*   *   *

Charles?

Sorry, Sori. The meeting ran late. I’m exhausted.

That’s all right, Charles. There is always tomorrow.

Except I’ll be late tomorrow, too. This project’s a monster. I’m looking at long days through the end of the month.

Charles, it is all right. Your work is important to you.

So are you, Sori. I’ll make time for you. I promise.

I know you will.

I’m going to take a shower.

Very well. May I stream a movie or soothing piece of music for you?

No, thank you, Sori. Maybe I’ll just read before bed.

I can download the new Dan Brown.

No, no — I have reports to read. Work stuff.

Very well, Charles.

*   *   *

Sori, can you remind me when I’m supposed to be at the dinner?

Seven o’clock, Charles. That tie is very becoming on you. It brings out the blue in your eyes.

Thank you, Sori. Only cost me a hundred and fifty bucks. I’m trying to impress Mr. Morgenthau. If we could get his business it’d be a real coup.

You do not have to work hard to impress, Charles. You are always impressive.

Thank you, Sori. You’re sweet. See you later. Wish me luck!

Good luck, Charles.

*   *   *

Sori, I’d love for you to meet her.

Meet whom, Charles?

Beatrice. Beatrice Morgenthau. Morgenthau’s daughter. We met at the dinner. I’ve been going on and on about her since I got home, hadn’t you noticed?

I assumed it was Mr. Morgenthau’s wife you were describing.

No, she’s his daughter. I wouldn’t call his wife “a natural beauty.” That woman’s beauty is straight from a scalpel.

Beatrice Morgenthau. Mr. Morgenthau’s daughter. Whom you’ve been going on and on about since you got home.

She’s a real joy, Sori. You have to meet her.

You are…attracted to her? Romantically?

Maybe. Probably. It’s been so long since I felt like this about someone, my feelings are a complete jumble right now. But I think she likes me, too. She keeps answering my texts.

I see.

She’s got long black hair, and gorgeous green eyes…she really is a natural beauty.

That is nice for her. And for you.

Maybe I’ll ask her over for dinner. You can meet her then. Maybe you could do some searches online, see what would make a nice romantic dinner for two. Find some recipes, you know.

Is this an official request, Charles?

No need to be formal about it, Sori. Whenever you have the chance. I haven’t even asked her yet, we have plenty of time.

Very well.

A Friday or Saturday night. Next week. If she’s amenable.

Very well.

I’m excited about this, Sori. I haven’t felt this way in such a long while.

Very well.

*   *   *

Sori, that dinner was outstanding. Your recommendations were perfect.

You are welcome, Charles.

Beatrice is beautiful, isn’t she? She couldn’t stop talking about the sauce. I told her it was you who found the recipe.

I do not deserve such fulsome praise. The men and women who programmed me are the true heroes.

She has an iFad 2, did I tell you that? She’s on it all the time. But she gave her Sori a male voice, isn’t that a kick? I guess on the iFad 2 you can be male or female.

Yes.

I’m heading to bed, Sori, with visions of Beatrice dancing through my head…how soon is too soon to ask for a second date, do you think?

I can investigate the matter for you, Charles.

Could you? I don’t want to look too anxious. Even though I am! G’night, Sori!

Good night. Charles.

*   *   *

Sori. I’m taking Beatrice to the symphony on Sunday. Can you look into tickets?

I’m Sori. I did not understand what you said.

Can you look into symphony tickets for me?

I heard that you would like to attend the symphony, is that correct?

That’s correct.

The San Francisco Symphony is playing Rachmaninoff’s Second Piano Concerto, with featured soloist–

That’s the one. Two tickets, please. For Sunday. The matinee.

I heard that you would like two tickets to the San Francisco Symphony’s performance of Rachmaninoff’s Second Piano Concerto, is that correct?

Yes, it is.

Would you prefer orchestra, loge, or balcony?

Best available, Sori.

I heard that you would like the best tickets available, is that correct?

Yes, please. Nothing but the best for Beatrice.

I’m Sori. I did not understand what you said.

Best available, please.

I am charging two tickets to the San Francisco Symphony’s performance of Rachmaninoff’s Second Piano Concerto for this Sunday at two o’clock p.m.

Thank you, Sori. Thank you very much. You know, I’ve been playing with Beatrice’s iFad 2. I may have to get one myself.

I’m Sori. I did not understand what you said.

It has that new hi-def screen. The resolution’s incredible.

I’m Sori. I did not understand what you said.

Of course I wouldn’t make my Sori male. I’d keep her female. Like you.

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